Currently close to 20 weeks pregnant, I have been doing a lot of thinking. The thought of being a mother is at once exciting but yet daunting. Many friends and relatives have told me not to worry too much as it is natural for a woman to have maternal instincts, i.e., caring for the baby wouldn't pose too much of a problem.
But besides the physical care, what else could I offer to this precious life God has so graciously given us? I started questioning my own belief system, my philosophy, the way I eat and live my life and the way I treat the people around me. Besides being a good mother, I want to be an inspiring mother. A mother who is a role model to my daughter, showing her what a woman could possibly be and achieve in her lifetime.
I want to be a mother who takes good care and is responsible not just for her family but for herself. Newly pregnant, I found myself asking the hub why are so many mothers we see on the road dressed so dowdily. I found myself imagining how these women look when they first got hitched and before they were mothers. I know I don't want to be one of these ladies and I know it is very easy to fall into that trap. We always have that excuse of being tired and exhausted. I think as women, we owe it to ourselves to take good care of ourselves. As such, not long after I received clearance from my doctor, I started hitting the gym and the pool. And the next thing I am going to do it to look into my wardrobe and fit in some pregnant-appropriate garments.
As a mother, I want my children to adopt good habits from young. This includes eating healthily and having a love for reading from young. From now on, I endeavour to eat more healthily by cutting out junk food and sugary drinks from my diet. As for reading, I have started reading to baby some weeks ago and we have completed quite a number of children's books.
I once read somewhere that being a parent changes the way you behave and live. You start to be more conscious of the choices you make to the extent of being more environmentally conscious. Although the hub is never going to agree with this, I have started sorting out the trash at home by putting aside trash that could be recycled. And perhaps the nesting instinct is something real. I have become a little more obsessed with keeping the house neat and tidy (something the hub should be happy about).
There are so many things I want to show my daughter (I use the word 'show' instead of 'teach' because more often than not, these life lessons are caught and not taught). I couldn't possibly list all out in one post. But as my motherhood journey progresses, I will journal these thoughts, experiences and lessons learnt. I hope that one day my daughter would come across this blog and be inspired.
When I first voiced out my apprehensions about motherhood to the hub, he used this analogy which I find extremely apt in today's digital world.
"You know how computer systems are constantly upgraded. Treat this new chapter in life as an upgrading process. You were Z version 1.0 before baby came along. Now, you are going to be a better Z version 2.0. And as we all know, there are always teething problems during a system upgrade, so do expect challenges along the way but know that everything will be fine at the end of the day."
Here's to a better me and a better tomorrow!
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